i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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