Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
