I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
