one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
