Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
try to milk me bitch
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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