What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
