remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
