how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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