Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
