idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
