OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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