When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
