Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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