Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
