they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
