It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
