What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
