I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
