He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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