ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
