In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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