# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
