Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sorry about my life...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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