fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
