how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
