Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
