YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
