im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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