His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
