Dual....:-)
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
