He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I had to cum in my sink.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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