morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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