The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
