I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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