your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
