I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
