He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
