Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
