this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
