he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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