i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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