What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
