How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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