i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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