Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
