I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
