you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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