Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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