Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Randomize
