He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
