And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
