I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
