Don't you send me to vm
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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